Growing Up

One and a half months into my internship, also my first ever job, and I feel like I can say that I’I’ve learnt so much more about myself that I have in other times of my life. It’s like a breath of new air that made me realize of who I am and what kind of personality and taste I have. I guess you could say that it is now, the working life, that you really enter the real world. High school and university are all just fun and games.

Most of my life (that I can remember since I was probably five), I’ve always been a tomboy-ish girl. I never liked dresses, shopping or even high heeled shoes. To me, dresses and high heels are uncomfortable and shopping is only when necessary (when I really need new clothes or shoes because my current ones are worn out). So I was pretty much a teenage boy in that sense.

Being a tomboy-ish girl (I wasn’t very tomboy, I still liked boys), I learnt to be independent and not rely on anyone if I could. Of course, I still slacked and laze around the house like a typical kid when it comes to house chores and homework. I meant independent as in being responsible for my actions, stepping up to do something different and daring to go out on stage to perform. I also had a very curious mind and my teacher was Google. Anything I wanted to know and not want to ask my mom, I Googled it. From learning to use the keyboard shortcuts on my laptop to learning how to fiddle with the HTML codes on my Tumblr page and also when I had a random question of how’s, what’s and why’s of things in this world.

So when I was out in the real world working, all of these were put to the test. I found out that while I was at home finding out how to do these things that I thought most people would know, yet here they are not knowing how to do them. I really thought I was the only one who didn’t know, so I quietly asked Google, not wanting to embarrass myself for asking.

I found myself helping my colleagues who didn’t know how to print screen pages on their laptop, adjust alignments and remove annoying lines that can’t seem to be deleted on Microsoft Word (those lines are a real pest!), print documents from a .zip file and all that. Then they turn to me and say that I really am smart. Honestly, I am taken aback that I was the only one who knew how to.

After that I had my supervisor who sat next to me during a recent Christmas celebration at the office and told me these words, “You’re really different from the rest. You carry yourself well, you do things well. There must be something you’re not telling me. Then he goes on and says, “You know, you’re going to be missed around here,” as I only had another two more weeks left at the office. Now he is a forty-plus year old family man, so I know this isn’t some small talk. He knows what he’s saying. I guess he’s seen me walking around the office, helping others out where they don’t know how to. He also told me before that, “There has been nothing but good things said about you.” That came as a nice surprise for me. I really did not expect that. My colleagues are the best. 🙂

Onto the finding out more of myself part, I came to a conclusion that I am into men (note that I said men, not boys) who have a more matured way of thinking. One who can handle his responsibilities very well and have as much fun. He would know that fun has a limit, where there’s serious work, he would be serious. But you know what? It is pretty much the total opposite of my current. I’d say he’s not that serious when he needs to. He doesn’t really care much about that. Well, at least that’s what I’m getting from him. In fact, every guy that’s been interested in me are the really playful type. The man that I am describing seems to only exist in much, much older men where it wouldn’t be socially acceptable for me to be with. After all, I am only nineteen.

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