Wanting Something but Not Getting It

You know when you like someone and you do everything you can (discreetly) to see him/her?

Like remembering when he/she goes to this place routinely and you “just so happen” to be there at that time.

Well, I am going through that.
But, this person I like…?
It’s not the kind of ‘like’ where I have the hots for him.
It’s more like I want to get to know this person as friends.
I want him and I to be good friends where we can joke around and chat.

To make this situation a little more complicated, he is in my university. And he’s not a student. Nor a lecturer (puh-lease…).

He works there but as a staff. He’s got such a great personality, pretty good humour and just nice person to be around.
I just want to be able to talk with him and get to know him and for him to get to know me.
All I ask for is to be good friends.
If anything more happens, that’ll be great. An added bonus.
It’d be reaaally odd if we got together. Not for me, because I’m fine with it, but for everyone else around us.
Which are his colleagues and other students we know.
First, because of age. We’re not thaaat much far apart. Less than a 10 year gap as far as I know. But the fact is, he’s a staff, I’m a student.
Second, boundaries. I deal with them (staff) a lot because I am involved with activities and events around campus and they are in charge of the events that happens. If we were together, people (being people) will assume I get a free pass in everything.

As of right now, whenever we meet each other on campus, we’d say hi and a tiny little chit chat if anything. Sometimes, I do have to go to him as he deals with the activities and I am involved.

There was one weekend on the week before, a couple of students and the whole staff got together  for a retreat/camp at a venue. It was a very seminar-like camp where it was very much emphasizing on the bonding of us selected students and the staff so that we all could improve performance on campus. He was there, and I guess after spending 3 days and 2 nights as a getaway over there and seeing him a lot, returning back to reality was such a bummer. Thus, it explains my situation right now. This thing I’m going through started before the camp, but the camp probably amplified it.


But from my point of view, he doesn’t know that I think of him of this way. He probably doesn’t even feel the same way I feel about him. If nothing works out between us, not even being close friends, I know I’ll get over him with time. I’ll forget about him and find someone new to obsess with soon enough.

As of now though, I’m trying to do things just so I could see and talk to him more.

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